Back Cover: link
Studio: VCA
Released: 2000
Length: 2 1/2 hrs.
Rating: XXX
My Grade: A

From DVD: If you think Perfect Smiles have anything to do with above the waist, then you just don't know Jim Holliday. He approaches beauty contests the same way he does everything else - with a focus on the fun and fluff, a taste of raunch, then satirize and ridicule the hell out of the rest of the deal...

There's no Miss Congeniality in the Miss (w)Hole Package Contest! There IS a Miss Thimbles, a Miss Perfect Slit and a Miss Perfect Pucker winners! Devin Wolf bangs Jill and Shayla backdoor in separate scenes, while Evan Stone does likewise to Sydnee Steele and Barett Moore. That's just four of the eight rearenders in this twelve-scene sextravaganza! It's perfect puckers and perfect vertical smiles galore...Join eighteen babes in twelve scorching scenes (eight of which are anal!)

This is a goofy porn about a beauty pageant, complete with silly dialogue. There were ten sex scenes, detailed below. Condoms were used every time.

Scene 1: The man who host's the pageant has sex with one of the contestants. She gives him a bj, then anal sex on the bed until he comes on her chest.

Scene 2: This is a lesbian scene with Jill Kelly and Tiffany Mynx, two more pageant contestants. They're outdoors on what looks like a comforter. There's oral, fingering, rimming and anal with two different dildos, a different one for each woman. This is filmed in California and the outdoor scenery is beautiful.

Scene 3: Another pageant contestant and her boyfriend have sex on the stage while no one is around. She blows him briefly then sex on floor in missionary position, reverse cowgirl, then anal until he comes on her chest. This was one of only five girls who has natural breasts.

Scene 4: Tabitha Stevens gives one of the pageant judges a blow job on his bed when he goes over to her place. He eats her out and rims her, then doggie style, missionary position, she's now on top, then reverse cowgirl until he comes on her chest.

Scene 5: Jill Kelly goes over to the home of some guy who's affiliated with the pageant. She gives him a blow job and he eats her out. He licks all of her toes, then anal in reverse cowgirl position and doggie style. No vaginal sex.

Scene 6: Same guy from the previous scene. He's working in a shoe store and yet another pageant girl comes in looking to buy shoes. The sick bastard licks on one of her feet then eats her out while fingering her the whole time with one, then two fingers. She briefly sucks her own toes. Gag. She blows him while she's got a death grip on his scrotum. Sex with her on top while he's laying on the floor, reverse cowgirl, he rims her, then anal with her on her back. She's using a 'pocket rocket' vibrator on her clit part of the time.

Scene 7: A judge from a previous scene is on his bed talking on the phone when a contestant comes in . She gives him a bj, then sex in missionary position, then spoon position, reverse cowgirl and so on.

Scene 8: This is a five girl orgy with Felicia, Tabitha Stevens and others. It's on the stage or backstage at the beauty pageant.

Scene 9: All eighteen contestants are messing around with each other backstage at the pageant. The host, Evan Stone, is back there giving commentary. Some of the girl's are on their hands and knees and Evan gets behind them on his knees and with his mouth samples they're offering.

Scene 10: Pageant host has sex with a contestant on his bed. He eats her out and rims her while she straddles his face. She blows him then sex with her on top, then reverse cowgirl, anal until he comes on her chest.

DVD Extras

There's a short, maybe five minute, interview with Jill Kelly. She talks about how she won't sign a contract because she's able to make more money without one since she's free to work for whomever she chooses.

A deleted scene with an Asian girl from the pageant and the guy with the foot fetish. The sex is out on his deck then inside his house. That scene is about 12 1/2 minutes.

Behind the scenes of the film. It's about 18 minutes long. They show some of the girl's rehearsing and show a bunch, maybe six, sex scenes that were filmed but not used in the final cut, including one with Ron Jeremy.

MY THOUGHTS: This was okay despite the silliness of it. I'm not sure why so many sex scenes were cut but I wish they'd been in the film. If they'd cut out some of the dialogue and nonsex stuff, they'd have had room for them. They looked pretty good and involved girl's who had no sex scenes in the final cut. All the women had bald labia and unfortunately about twelve of the eighteen had breast implants which are disgusting, in my opinion. All but four or five were bleach blondes.

I think my two favorite scenes are scenes four and ten. Same review posted here.

This came from my personal collection.

MASTER OF SIN by Maggie Robinson

PUBLISHER: Brava, April 2012
GENRE: Historical Romance
SETTING: Scotland 1820
SERIES: Courtesan Court, #4

FROM PUBLISHER: Andrew Rossiter has used his gorgeous body and angelic face for all they’re worth – shocking the proper, seducing the willing, and pleasuring the wealthy. But with a young son depending on him for rescue, suddenly discretion is far more important than desire. He’ll have to quench his desires – fast. And he’ll have to find somewhere his scandalous reputation hasn’t yet reached…

Miss Gemma Peartree seems like a plain, virginal governess – or so she hopes. No matter how many sparks fly between them, she has too much to hide to catch Andrew’s eye. But with a stormy Scottish winter driving them together, it will be hard to keep her secrets. Especially when Andrew feels he has found the woman who can restore his soul – one kiss at a time…


Andrew: He’s thrity-two, blond and blue-eyed. He had a rough childhood. His mother was a prostitue and he doesn’t know who his father is. He was taken in at seven by a grown man and molested by him. He went on to become a prostitute himself for both men and women. He doesn’t seem to have any self-worth. He’s very detached from his own son.

Gemma: She’s twenty-two, Italian, brown haired and brown-eyed. She seems pretty confident and she’s not a virgin. She’s the daughter of a courtesan so she’s got something in common with Andrew. I don’t like how she pushed herself on Andrew when he gave no indication that he was interested in her. He was indifferent towards her but she didn’t let that stop her, oh no.

I liked that there was a big age gap, ten years, between them. I always love that between the main couple. This story had the right mix of humor sprinkled throughout. I like how the author cleaverly incorporated

 the name of her Courtesan Court series and made herself Lady X, author of a risqué book series.
I didn’t like how Gemma declared her love for him in less than a month’s time and I don’t really understand why they wanted to marry so soon. What’s the rush?

Overall, I really liked the story and look forward to the next by Maggie.

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

WHEN WE WERE STRANGERS by Pamela Schoenewaldt

PUB. INFO: HarperCollins, 2/2011
GENRE: Historical Fiction
SETTING: Italy/America 1880′s
HEROINE: Irma Vitale, 20
TIMESPAN: 8 years or so

FROM PUBLISHER: “If you leave Opi, you’ll die with strangers,” Irma Vitale’s mother always warned. Even after her beloved mother’s passing, 20-year-old Irma longs to stay in her Abruzzo mountain village, plying her needle. But too poor and plain to marry and subject to growing danger in her own home, she risks rough passage to America and workhouse servitude to achieve her dream of making dresses for gentlewomen.

In the raw immigrant quarters and with the help of an entrepreneurial Irish serving girl, ribbon-decked Polish ragman and austere Alsatian dressmaker, Irma begins to stitch together a new life…until her peace and self are shattered in the charred remains of the Great Chicago Fire. Enduring a painful recovery, Irma reaches deep within to find that she has even more to offer the world than her remarkable ability with a needle and thread.

MY THOUGHTS: I was a bit disappointed in this novel. The plotline was interesting but tedious to read most of the time. Too much time was spent on her mundane day-to-day work as a seamstress in Ohio, then California. A couple of interesting things happened to her, which I won’t spoil, but when those parts were resolved, I got bored and was wishing the book would hurry up and end.

Heroine was totally likeable as were most of the characters, even the bad ones. A good story must have their bad characters, right? I didn’t like when she started working with the lady in the clinic or when she started going to nursing school. It just didn’t interest me.

I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.


RELEASED: 10/26/2007
STUDIO: Pink Visual
GENRE: Gonzo
LENGTH: 2 hr.

SCENE 1: Keiko. She's white, fair skinned with dark redish brown hair and blue eyes, small breasts and bald labia. She's supposedly 18 (and looks it) and is sitting outside a resturant eating ice cream when she's approached by two much older men, late 40s, one might even be 50. They talk her into going to one of their homes. They offer her money in exchange for showing certain body parts until finally she agrees to have sex with them for even more money.

All the sex takes place on the sofa. There's anal, oral, girl on top, reverse cowgirl, doggie style and facials.

SCENE 2: Leah. She's supposedly 19 and a freshmen in college. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, small breast, and bald labia. She's approached by a guy in a parking lot who asks if she'll participate in a documentary about college life. He talks her into coming back to his place for the interview. He's in his mid-late 20s.

All the sex takes place on a bed with the usual positions: female oral, bj, girl on top, reverse cowgirl, oral, doggie-style, spoon, facial. The cameraman had a heavy foreign accent and I had trouble understanding what he was saying. I found him to be annoying.

SCENE3: Jacqueline. She's fair skinned, homely as hell, medium redish brown hair, small breasts, and bald labia. She's walking through a parking lot with a man, 40ish, when they see his wife or girlfriend, who is Jacqueline's fathers employee. She's 40ish too, nice body and large natural breasts. They talk her into going to their place for sex.

The older woman eats her out, then Jac has sex with the man in missionary position then doggie style while eating the older woman out. The older woman has sex with the man while Jac is rubbing her clit, then she strattles the woman's face. They both blow him until he comes in Jac's mouth. With his come in her mouth she kisses the woman.

SCENE 4: Arianna and Jordan. This is a lesbian scene with two girls who look to be 23 or 24. One is white with blue eyes, long dark hair, bald labia, perfect B cup breasts and the other girl is foreign, maybe from Brazil, and darker in coloring with small breasts, brown eyes, dark red hair with ridiculous blonde streaks in it and a rose tattoo on her left breast.

All sex happens on the sofa. There's oral between both the the foreign girl uses a dark redish pink dildo (looks to be made of jelly) on her. The other girl, Arianna, I think, rubs her clit most of the time. Then they switch; She uses a black dildo on the other girl while licking her clit most of the time. The girl says she had an orgasm and I belive her because after it, she put her hand on the girl's arm to make her stop using the dildo on her. Her actions looked real. Next, the foreign girl is sitting on the sofa wearing a strap-on dildo, the black one she's used before. Arianna straddles it in reverse cowgirl position, then doggie style, then missionary position.

SCENE 5: Kinsy Jo. She's the girl on the DVD cover. She's got bleach blonde hair, brown eyes, small breasts, and trimmed pubes, and mostly bald labia. She's sitting outside and is approaced by a guy, late 20s or so, and he asks her to partipate in a documentary about college life. She agrees to do part two at his place. There a blow job, missionary on sofa, girl on top, doggie style. He then talks her into having anal for the first time, then facial.

DVD Extras

Bonus Scene: This is crazy. This is a 17 minute clip from a Pink Visual DVD called Wild College Parties Vol. 7: Cum Guzzling Grads. There's a party going on inside, not sure where, and out of nowhere, a girl, who says she's from Germany, starts stripping of her clothes in front of everyone and blows her boyfriend. She's cute with blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail, small breasts, clit piercing, bald labia. They have sex in every position you can think of.

I really liked this scene but I have two complaints. 1) she looked drunk and 2) everyone standing around watching kept cheering and it was LOUD and annoying. I'm sure she had many regrets the next morning and hightailed it back to Germany.

Behind the Scenes: I didn't enjoy this at all. It's 8 minutes and seems to be a photo shoot for an unrelated porn. There are two men and two blondes with huge breast implants and tattoos, exactly what I hate to see in porn. The girls, solo and sometimes with the guys, are posing for photos, presumedly for the DVD box cover.

Strip Tease: One of the blondes from the Behind the Scenes stuff, Devon Lee, is doing a striptease. I skipped over that because I'm not into women and wasn't interested in seeing it. I'm not sure how long the scene was.

DVD Trailers: There was a 30 minute preview for 12 other Pink Visual gonzo titles. One I thought was interesting and funny is called Auto Bang Sluts. What happens is some guy talks a girl into getting into a van with him to have sex while the van is driving down the highway in broad daylight. Passersby can see everything that's going on and some of the girls seem to be embarrassed but laugh anyway.

MY THOUGHTS: Though I've got lots of it, I'm not a big fan of gonzo porn because I don't like when the cameraman talks or when they talk to him. I don't like the silly scriped scenarios at the beginning of each scene. What's the point? No one watches porn to hear them trying to act. Having said that, I think they all did a good job of making it look somewhat real. All of the sex was good. I don't have a favorite or least favorite scene.

INSATIABLE by Opal Carew

PUB. INFO: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2/2012
GENRE: Contemporary Erotica

From Publisher: Crystal never dreamed her engagement would end this way. With her fiancé breaking her heart the day of the wedding…and his best man stepping in to mend it. Now she’s about to embark on her dream honeymoon with the sinfully sexy best man. But when the groom shows up determined to win her back, she ends up in a highly unusual situation…on a honeymoon for three.
Caught between two gorgeous guys—each determined win her hand by showing her the most pleasure—Crystal has an impossible decision to make. Who will she end up with once the honeymoon is over? And how can she follow her heart when it belongs to two men at once?

MY THOUGHTS: Wow is the best word to describe this book. The sex scenes are XXX and there were so many that I lost count. There were m/f, m/f/m, m/m, and f/f, just to name a few scenarios. I don’t find the plotline to be plausible at all and is why this didn’t get an A+ from me. But I didn’t get this for the plotline, if you know what I mean.

I really liked all three main characters and they certainly had chemistry. I don’t like that their ages weren’t given but I’m assuming they were in their late 20s/early 30s. We didn’t get much backstory on any of the three and I was disappointed with that.

Overall, the sex scenes were scorching, creative and neverending and I was very pleased with them. This is, by far, the most sexually graphic novel I’ve ever read and Opal Carew has made a fan out of me!

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

THE OTHER COUNTESS by Eve Edwards With Book Trailer

PUB. INFO: Delacorte, July 2011
GENRE: Young Adult Historical Romance
SETTING: England, 1582
SERIES? The Lacey Chronicles, #1

From Publisher: Ellie—Lady Eleanor Rodriguez, Countess of San Jaime—possesses a worthless title, but her feisty spirit captivates the elite of the Queen’s court—especially the dashing new Earl of Dorset.

William Lacey, Earl of Dorset, has inherited his father’s title—and his financial ruin. Now Will must seek a wealthy bride and restore his family’s fortune. If only he hadn’t fallen for the beautiful but penniless Ellie . . .

Sparks fly whenever Ellie and Will are together, but circumstances—and the conniving interference of others—threaten to keep them apart.

MY THOUGHTS: I enjoyed this. Though it’s young adult it didn’t really seem like one, and that’s a good thing. Eleanor, ‘Ellie’, is just sixteen years old. She lives with her alchemist father, who’s not really liked my many. Her mother is deceased and her Spanish title was passed on to her, though she doesn’t use it. Her father’s English and their last name is Hutton.

William is just eighteen and is the oldest of four. He met Ellie years before and was very rude to her and years later when they meet again, it’s the opposite! He’s taken with her right away and she feels the same. Though he’s titled, the family is poor and he fights their attraction so that he can marry a weathy girl. Things don’t go as planned and it works out in the end for both of them.

My favorite characters are Lady Jane and her maid, Nell. Jane is cold and wealthy and becomes friends with Ellie though she shouldn’t because of their stations in life. Nell finds herself in a situation with Jane’s brother Henry and plots to find a way out of it and succeeds. Henry’s a not so nice character who takes a liking to Ellie but she refuses what he wants of her. He’s a bad man but that’s why I like him.

What I didn’t like about the story and what kept if from getting an A+ was the stuff involving Ellie’s father and her meeting her relatives near the end. The relatives were totally unlikeable and were overly religious and I just didn’t find those two parts interesting.

The next in the series, The Queen’s Lady, is to be released in April and is about my favorite, Jane.

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Why Do I Love Eden Fantasys? Let Me Count The Ways.....

I've been working with Eden Fantasys for a while now and I can't say enough about what a great website they have. I've been to many toy sites and and I can honestly tell you that they have one of the best inventories that I've ever seen.

Let me tell you about my favorite catagories: G spot dildos are my top favorite type of toy, preferably those made of silicone. They're usually solid and are always smooth, seamless, nonporous, hypoallergenic and simple to clean. One I've tried recently and recommend highly is Curve by Tantus. I'm amazed at how well it worked for me and am impressed by the design.

I also recommend G spot vibrators. Stay away from those that use what's called a bullet because they don't work very well. I own this one and am able to have G spot orgasms with it.

Non G spot silicone dildos are great too. One I own and recommend is called Silk, that too by Tantus. This one is the large size, with a diameter of 1 1/2". It comes in small and medium sizes too and three different colors. When you see it in person, you can see that it's a quality piece.

Other safe materials that I prefer are TPR and TPE. Those are slightly porous but non irritating. They have a lot of movement. Eden Fantasys has a huge list of toy materials that I've not seen anywhere else and it's what I use when determining what to get.

So now you might understand why I love Eden Fantasys!

I received a gift card in exchange for an honest post.

TOUCH OF A ROGUE by Mia Marlowe

PUB. INFO: Brava, March 2012
GENRE: Historical Romance
SETTING: England, 1859

From Publisher: Jacob Preston has three requirements for a woman desiring access to his bed: She must be enthusiastic in affairs of passion, jaded in matters of the heart, and – to ensure the first two qualifications – she must be married.

Lady Julianne Cambourne’s unmarried status should render her firmly off limits. Instead, it proves a temptation, especially when she comes to him in desperation, looking for the kind of answers only he can give. For, beyond his rakish reputation, Jacob is known for the mysterious power of detection he commands through his sense of touch. And Julianne, surrounded by secrets that threaten to ensnare her in a deadly trap, will do whatever it takes to recruit his skills…using every form of persuasion at her disposal…

MY THOUGHTS: This was a pretty interesting read. I don’t normally read anything paranormal but tried this one. Both lead characters are likeable and get along great together. She first contacts him because she needs his help finding a missing sixth dagger. She plans to sell the set because she desperately needs the money. They have great chemistry and the sex scenes are hot.

I didn’t mind hearing about Jacob’s gift of sight but I was totally uninterested in reading about Druids and won’t again. I also didn’t understand why Jacob wanted to marry Julianne so soon after meeting her and was puzzled as to why the author threw that in so soon. I feel this book should be labeled as historical fiction instead of romance.

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.